love too early

Chapter 44

I can always sleep peacefully by Fu Zhiheng's side.After waking up, the tiredness and soreness from last night were gone, but I was still a little lazy and didn't want to do anything in bed.

There are several messages from Shen Nanyu on the phone, telling me that he has gone back to school first.

"Is your injury okay?" I thought for a while and asked.

"It's okay, just a little scratch." Shen Nanyu replied.

At that time, my attention was mostly on Fu Zhiheng, and I didn't notice whether there were other injuries on Shen Nanyu's body. Judging by Fu Zhiheng's furious appearance, there probably were.

I sighed and said, "Zhiheng was a little impulsive today, I apologize to you on his behalf."

"No need to apologize, I didn't care about it." Shen Nanyu said, "Besides, I don't want you to make things difficult."

Looking at the two lines of words on the screen, I thought that it should be false not to care, and it might be true that I don’t want me to be embarrassed.It's also fortunate that Shen Nanyu has such a character, if it were someone else, he might not be able to be so generous to Fu Zhiheng.

Just as he was thinking about Fu Zhiheng coming in, with a bandage on his face and a glass of water in his hand, his expression was dull at first, but when he saw me wake up, he froze for a moment, with a faint smile on his face, and asked, "Sleeping?" full?"

"Yeah." I put down the phone, "how is your face...?"

"Small injury, it's okay." Fu Zhiheng handed me the water glass, "Come and drink some water."

He also stayed by my side when I drank water, as if this little thing needs someone to take care of it.After a while, he took the initiative to say: "Shen Nanyu came here when you were asleep, and I asked him to go back first."

Fu Zhiheng's tone was unexpectedly calm, so I had to stop and look up to judge whether he was really calm or just pretending.

"Why do you look at me like that?" He rubbed my hair, "I'm not being unreasonable."

"Are you not angry?" I asked.

"...It's useless to be angry." He showed a slightly sour wry smile, "Who told us Xiaolu to protect him."

"Oh..." I withdrew my gaze and looked down at the glass in my hand.

While distracted, Fu Zhiheng hugged me gently and said, "Of course I hope you are mine, but I hope you will always be happy."

If I remember correctly, this is the first time he said this to me.

This kind of Fu Zhiheng is a little strange to me, and I even experience some things that I haven't experienced before from his hug.Even though I'm often blunt to human emotion, I can sense that it's not just "I want you to be mine".

When I got home late, I was still not in the mood. Fortunately, because of my engagement, I had no work to bother me these two days.

On the first day when we officially became fiancés, there was no difference between me and Fu Zhiheng. In the evening, he cooked a few light dishes. The two of us sat at the dining table and ate quietly, just like usual Same.

But he obviously paid too much attention to me, I just raised my eyelids, and before I said anything, he hurriedly handed over the sauce and said, "Here."

"..."

I took the sauce in Fu Zhiheng's hand, squeezed a little into the plate, and put it back silently.He kept looking at me quietly, which made me feel uneasy. I paused and asked, "Do you want it?"

"Huh?" He froze for a moment, "Oh...a little bit."

So I squeezed a little into his plate, and heard him whisper, "Thank you."

After dinner, he asked me if I wanted to go downstairs for a walk, and then suddenly thought of something, and said unnaturally, "...or watch a movie at home?"

I sighed: "Let's watch a movie."

Fu Zhiheng and I don't have many hobbies in common, mostly because I don't have many hobbies. Watching movies is one of the few things we can do together.

During the years of living abroad, we would go to film festivals every year. Apart from watching movies, there would occasionally be some unpleasant episodes, such as meeting a boyfriend that Fu Zhiheng had dated or was currently dating.

I remember a certain one he had dated with, who won the Best Actor in an international film festival with a cutting-edge literary film. After that, his star career was magnanimous, and now he has become a first-line actor.When I met him at the film festival, the flirtatious young film star didn't seem to care about Fu Zhiheng's fiancée. He even looked at me with great interest for a long time and asked me if I would mind the three of us together. He would do something for me. back to top.

At that time, Fu Zhiheng's complexion became ugly to the naked eye, and he almost rudely warned his little lover not to think of me.

Thinking about it now, he seemed to be like this all the time, but this time, he finally met someone who didn't listen to him.

"What are you thinking about?" Came back to his senses, Fu Zhiheng put a small bowl of washed blueberries in front of me.

"It's okay." I smiled at him absent-mindedly, "Think about some people."

Fu Zhiheng paused for a while, and didn't continue to ask any further questions. He silently sat down beside me and opened a can of Coke for himself.

Coincidentally, in the movie shown today, there was a cameo role played by the actor who said he wanted three of them together. When I saw him appear, I said casually, "I remember him."

"Xiao Lu," Fu Zhiheng couldn't sit still, he hesitated for a long time and said, "Actually, I..."

I turned my head and looked over, "Huh?"

Fu Zhiheng was holding a coke can in his hand, the injury on his face made him look depressed and innocent.Every time he does something wrong, he always looks like this.

"I didn't have sex with him." He said carefully, "I haven't been in touch with him since the last time he offended you. I know you don't like these flirtatious people, and I promise it won't happen again Something happened."

"Oh..." I thought for a while, "It's okay."

"There are other people, not all of them are what you see." He continued, "I admit that I have done a lot of wrong things, I'm sorry, until now I finally know how bastard I was before, if Shen Nanyu hadn't appeared , I may continue to be an asshole, Xiaolu, I'm sorry, I won't do it again in the future."

I don't doubt that Fu Zhiheng is sincere, but... "Now that I'm talking about this, isn't it..."

"It's not too late." Fu Zhiheng interrupted me, shaking his head and said, "We'll be together for a long, long time, it's not too late at all."

His pupils were dark, and he looked at me deeply, like the thick night outside the window.After looking at each other for a while, I looked away and said, "But Zhiheng, to be honest, I don't really understand."

"what……"

"Is it because we are getting married, or is it because of Shen Nanyu?" I rarely talked about such things with Fu Zhiheng, and I didn't know how to describe my feelings, "I never feel that you are sorry for me. They are all respectful. Besides, there is no promise of loyalty between us, how many people you have had sex with, and where it happened is your freedom."

My tone was flat and my speech was very slow. Fu Zhiheng listened blankly without blinking his eyes.

"So I don't understand why you suddenly apologized to me for these things." I said seriously, "Because Shen Nanyu's appearance made you unacceptable, or because you think you are going to get married, and it is out of reason to have a relationship with someone else They are all bad? So what does it have to do with me... You have been here for the past few years, and you have never felt sorry for me. Now you want to live in a different way, and there is no need to ask for my forgiveness .”

After thinking about it again, I said, "Still, it's okay if you just want to hear something from me, so that you can feel at ease. Then I've said it many times, it's okay, I don't mind."

"Little Lu..." Fu Zhiheng opened his mouth, as if he didn't know what to say. After a long time, he shook his head lightly and said, "No. It's not because of Shen Nanyu, nor because of marriage, nor to beg you forgive."

This time I didn't answer, just looked at him quietly.

He looked so bewildered, as if he had deep doubts about himself, and even I couldn't help wondering if I wasn't clear enough.

I don't know how long it took, Fu Zhiheng finally looked up at me again and said, "You're right, I shouldn't say I'm sorry."

There was a bit of nasal in his voice, and it sounded a little sad. I don't know if it was an illusion. Something that I hadn't experienced before was particularly strong in his eyes at the moment.

"I should say... I like you. Because I realized that I like you, I don't want to look at other people anymore, so I hate Shen Nanyu, so I look forward to marrying you. Or more than just like you, Xiaolu, I might love you."

As Fu Zhiheng spoke, his voice gradually lowered, "I don't know why, I only understand now."

Now it was my turn to stay put and watch him bewildered.

Like, love, these words have never appeared between Fu Zhiheng and me. After a brief shock, I realized what he meant, frowned and said: "Maybe... love me?"

"I don't know what is love..." Fu Zhiheng looked at me and said, "From childhood, no matter how sad or angry I am, as long as I see you, I will forget everything."

As if remembering something, he showed a sour smile, and there was more tenderness in his eyes.

"But I'm sorry, I... I'm too stupid, I don't know what it's called liking. I've always dreamed of marrying you, starting a family, adopting a child, and living together for the rest of my life, but I didn't realize it was liking."

"I thought I would be like this only because of our engagement." Fu Zhiheng smiled, "I'm so stupid."

His smile was weak and looked sad instead.I didn't know what to say, so I silently lowered my eyes and didn't speak.

"Little Lu... I used to be an asshole," Fu Zhiheng carefully took my hand, and slowly stroked the ring on my middle finger, "I don't know how to cherish you, and I don't know how to love you. After Shen Nanyu appeared, I only knew Compete with him, I think, he doesn't even know whether you like blueberries or not, so why should he say he likes you? I dare not admit it, I'm jealous, I'm jealous that he can tell you that he likes you bluntly, I Why can't it be done... I am obviously the person who likes you the most in the world."

Fu Zhiheng's hand was big and warm, wrapping my hand in his palm, it was as warm as a cocoon.

"You asked me why I apologized...Maybe it's just because I liked you for so many years and didn't dare to tell you."