[sherlock] Spirit and flesh

Chapter 18 Sherlock

A long time ago, when John first moved in, he decided to sleep on the third floor because he had a nervous breakdown and was afraid of noise. The room on the second floor faced the living room, where I often received various clients.

From now on, John will sleep in my room. If there are no special circumstances, he said that he is willing to sleep on my bed all the time, lying next to me. I promise that he will not have a sword fight with visitors in the living room during his sleep, so as not to make a noise woke him up.

John smiled at my assurance, "Since when did you practice fencing with visitors in the living room?"

I decided not to tell him the whereabouts of the Arab guy who came to kill me lest he worry about it, John was fighting a cauliflower in front of the bar code machine, and I was in the apartment with a machete , I think that Arab should still be in prison, and will not come out to seek revenge on me in a short time—at least 50 years.

Later, I gave John a cash credit card that does not require a signature, and he accepted it without any complaints. He still has that credit card to this day. At this moment, I lie on the mattress and respond to him with a smile knowingly, ah, He was willing to use my money. At first I thought that with his independent and tenacious personality, not only would he not be willing, but he would also take my rare thoughtfulness as a handout and alms, and then throw the credit card back in my face. scold me.He didn't, he used my money without guilt like mine was his.

I have never pitied him, nor have I ever underestimated his ability to earn a living. He does not earn as much as me, but his conduct is no worse than mine. To some extent, he is worse than me.

I propped myself up from the mattress and leaned over him, looking at him, John had gauze on his elbow, a Band-Aid on his face, he was naked next to me, with the love I left between my thighs For traces, I raised a hand and stroked his sweaty bangs, John laughed and stared at me as well.

"You look like you just met me today," he said.

I kissed him on the forehead and said, "I have always been curious about you. It has never faded. No one can surprise me for so long. Only you, I can never be accurate. Guess you, John, you are amazing, sometimes, I have a hard time figuring out what you're going to do next, it never happens to anyone else. I love you, John, I love everything about you, there's nothing in this world People will love you more than me, you are the best to me, you surpass everything in my life, chemistry, cases, puzzles, codes, you compare them all, before I met you, I I thought I didn’t have a heart, but then I found out that I’m just like everyone else, I also have an ordinary and ordinary heart, but it’s like a lifeless fossil, it doesn’t know how to beat, you held it with your own hands and revived it " I picked up one of his hands, spread his palm out, and put it on my chest, I whispered, "How amazing you are, but you don't know it yourself."

John blushed and smiled, shrinking shyly under me, he looked at me, his eyes were shining with a moving light, he said, "You are amazing... Sherlock... you once said that we don't need love words .”

"As long as I want, I can say it very nasty and beautiful. I am willing to say these words to you, and I am willing to say these words to you every day."

"Say it every day?"

I kissed his little mouth and promised him, "It won't be too hard to say I love you every day, John, just like you call me an asshole every day."

John laughed, then he went quiet, raised his hand, his warm fingertips passed my eyebrows, landed on my cheekbones, he touched my cheekbones for a long time, and said softly, "I love you too, Sherlock."

I sat in his arms contentedly, feeling that my 36-year-old is happier than all the 36-year-old people in the world. Resting on his stomach, John rubbed my hair over and over again, his voice carrying a magical comforting power.

"Good night, Sherlock."

"Good night, my John."

The next day he got up earlier than me, and when I opened my eyes he had already gone out.

I changed into the clothes I went out and sat at home waiting for him. This place gradually became our home. I raised my head and looked around. I was surrounded by case files and experimental equipment. On the table were my teacups and John’s, bookshelves Next to his medical journal are my excerpt notes, his blog is all about me, and I only have two numbers on my phone, he's number one, and I might be able to live here with John At the age of 60 or 80, if John wants to go to the small country to spend his later years, I will not have much objection.

I found that it was no longer John revolving around me, the world changed, it became Sherlock Holmes revolving around John Watson.

He's so beautiful, and I'm willing to.

During the two years when I was away, I had no choice but to hide my life and death from him was a necessary step and plan. I admit that I hurt him, but following Holmes, I have to be prepared to take risks at any time, face enemies and accept severe tests. He Tested by loneliness and despair, I understand, I understand very well, he is a man of deep emotions, easily emotional, and easily hurt, and I watched him standing in front of my tombstone, covering his eyes and crying, and I almost felt like crying. That moment ruined all the efforts my brother and I had made, I almost wanted to run halfway across the cemetery and rush over to him, pick him up and fly around, tell him I'm still alive, don't be silly sad anymore, I'm still alive with.

But I had to be patient, and he had to be patient.

So, I accepted his arbitrary punishment on me, and he has been hanging out with me since I returned, knowing that I will not leave him this time, never will.

The cunning John, hum, the cunning and irresistible John.

I heard the sound of the apartment door opening and closing, the heavy footsteps on the stairs, I smiled and listened to the familiar footsteps, I could recognize him from a thousand footsteps, John walked in In the living room, he smiled at me warmly, "Sherlock Holmes, who enjoys what he gets, when will you learn to clean the dining table?" He held two paper bags full of ingredients and put them on the dining table, and began to sort the food into categories.

I realized how lonely and pitiful I was when he left me for two years during his second marriage. During those two years, how many times I sat on the sofa like this and fantasized about his foolishly busy figure at the dining table.

John spread his arms and asked me, "Are you ready?"

I said yes, then got up from the sofa, buttoned my suit, put on my coat, and walked down the stairs with him. No matter how fast I walked, he could walk side by side with me.

John's little boy was sitting on his shoulder, hugging his father's reliable, loyal but stupid head, the kid was scratching his hair, giggling with laughter, I squinted my eyes, and faced the one and a half year old kid head-on, The blue eyeballs were exactly the same as John's, and the irises were smooth and innocent, without any flaws.

And John's eldest daughter held his finger, stood in front of me, raised her head, and looked at me with twinkling eyes.

John patiently took them to the children's store. Our itinerary also included a playground. I couldn't help but frown, but I still held back my seizures. Human beings always spend time with little ghosts with snot bubbles. I I really wanted to sneak away and go to the laboratory to stir the kidneys in formalin, but I promised John that after letting these two little devils have fun, we will go to visit the grave.

It's not nice if someone recognizes me in a restaurant, I like to be watched but I don't like to be watched, I should put on glasses and glue on a fake mustache to look like a decadent middle-aged fat guy.

But John laughed at my idea, "I don't want to sit face to face with a middle-aged fat man on a date in a restaurant."

I smiled.

John and I sat opposite each other at the dining table, John stuffed his one and a half year old child into my arms, and said sorry, "I have to take Sherly to the bathroom, watch Johnny! Don't fall to the floor! Or I'll smash your head!"

I helplessly hold this little ghost head who has not yet been weaned. His body smells of diapers and milk powder. His limbs are as limp as jelly. Protecting him from rolling around, I looked like a statue of a knight in a museum, sitting frozen in front of the window of the restaurant. When people walked up and down, they couldn't help but look at me curiously, and then snickered stupidly.

John's eldest daughter is called Sherly, who took my nickname, while his youngest son still uses his name. To put it bluntly, this pair of half-brothers and sisters is a miniature version of us. John has his blood, I think it's good that his good genes should be passed on.

And I may not.

I don't care about family, I don't care about reproduction, I am unique, only one, even my own flesh and blood can't replace me, I used to be lonely, but now I have John, I don't need anything.

John came back ten minutes later, and he laughed when he saw how immobile I was, "Oh, Sherlock, you're a good nanny material." He said, and finally took me from my arms and let me A little troublemaker in a cold sweat.

I swear if John came back any slower I'd give my stiff thighs a cramp.

I'm not good at holding children. I can place test tubes with tweezers accurately, but I'm not good at slippery and soft things like children.

I looked at him and retorted contemptuously: "You once praised me for being a nurse. Do you know what you are suitable for when you are old? Former military doctor, you are suitable for knitting at home."

John laughed and said, "Then when you're old, you should go to the country club and teach the old people how to dance."

"You should open a restaurant when you are old, and then use the remote control to change channels every day. Your brain is only enough to memorize the menu."

John's eyes sparkled suddenly and he said, "Come and help me keep the books. With you, I don't need a book. Imagine that you stand at the cash register with the expression that the whole world owes you 500 million and The customer collects the money, and I sit by the side and circle the tourist attractions in the newspaper with a pen, and we can go there when we are on vacation."

I stared at him, "You're not actually going to open a restaurant."

"Of course, I'm just talking. I don't know what I will look like when I'm old. I may continue to run the clinic, or you really come and be my nurse."

I snorted, "Can I dissect your patient, if I can."

John laughed, "You're never going to retire, Holmes, never, you can't bear the kind of days we have that seem to be doing nothing, doing accounts, collecting money, being a nurse, you're only good for taking risks and getting to the bottom of crimes In the end, until the day you can't run, you will accompany your brilliant records in the living room, slowly reminiscing about the vigorous deeds you did when you were young in front of the burning fireplace."

"You'll be by my side and I won't be bored."

John was silent.

I frowned, wondering why he was suddenly silent.

"I think... I still need to move out..." John raised his hand, stroking his daughter's hair as Sherly smeared her face with French fries and ketchup. My parents’ house, I want to grow up with them, so I have to rent a suite outside to take care of them.”

I said seriously, "I object."

"So what to do?" John picked up his sneezing little boy in both hands and shook me, "What to do with this one?"

I pursed my lips tightly, unable to reply.

"I just contacted the real estate agent outside the bathroom. I will be able to see the house in a few days. I will try to find a place closer to Baker Street so that we can get together when we have time, such as weekends. I can Go back to 221B for dinner, or you can come to my house and sleep for two days."

"I don't! I want you to lie next to me every day, and I can see you when I wake up! I want to see you in the middle of the night, I want to see you in the morning, I want to see you 24 hours a day! I don't want to run It takes a few streets to reunite with you! I don't want it!" I slammed the table in protest.

Everyone around turned their eyes to look at us.

John said in a low voice, "Stop messing around, Sherlock, you have to think about my situation, can 221B have children? Your potassium cyanate is sitting next to the salt shaker, and your kitchen is hell. Also, your The pistols...are never locked in a drawer, let alone human organs in the refrigerator."

I pouted and looked at him aggrievedly, "John..."

"Don't use that look, please, your pitiful look always makes me want to die, you're an adult, you can live alone, Mrs Hudson won't let you starve to death, think before I go home, You don't live alone, either."

"I'm used to having you, and habits are hard to change."

John sighed, "I don't want to be separated from you, but we are not really separated, just work a little harder, you run more, we can still meet many times in a week. Don't be self-willed, I have already done it Decided."

I shut my mouth sensibly, so as not to be scolded, I stared at the two little things next to him that made me fall in love with John, to be honest, I was a little jealous, I was jealous of them.

I'm standing in the playground, John and his two little ghosts are playing on the carousel, I'm standing next to the ice cream cart, both hands are stuffed with ice cream, I can only talk with the phone under my shoulder.

Mycroft vetoed me on the other end of the phone, "Sherlock, my stupid Sherlock, I won't let a killer assassinate two minors, it's not in line with the rules of the killer industry."

"I just wanted to keep John's two kids out of our lives, I didn't ask you to kill them."

"But you really want those two little things to disappear, don't you? I told you not to get addicted to it. Who is John? He is the most complicated person in the world, and he is the most difficult person for you to deal with. You shouldn't be obsessed with him in the first place, I advised you to give up on him quickly when he was married for the second time, look at you, you've caused yourself a whole lot of trouble."

"I know you can help me find a place to take my child, a boarding school or a nursery, you can find the best adoption agency in the country."

I heard Mycroft think for a moment, and he paused for two seconds before saying, "Sherlock, John is going to be mad."

I froze for a while, "I'm helping him lighten the burden..."

"That's not a burden, my dear brother. It's his seed, his flesh and blood. You haven't been a parent before, so you can't understand it. It's not something you can throw away. Since you choose John, you have to accept it." Forgive me for everything about him, but I can give you a little suggestion."

"What advice?"

"Clean up your apartment, get rid of your hard drugs, and I can send you a crib."

John suddenly appeared behind me, I immediately stood up straight, the phone fell to the grass, Mycroft ruthlessly hung up at this second, John bent down to pick up my phone, wiped it clean, and put it back in my pocket.

I sullenly handed the ice cream to him.

John handed the ice cream to the kids to share, and then he greedily licked a vanilla one himself, saying, "What bad idea are you coming up with? Don't try to hide it from me."

I shook my head vigorously to dispel his doubts, but I didn't say anything to him.

Later in the evening, John returned the children to his two different parents-in-law. Before evening, he bought flowers, and we went to the cemetery to visit the grave.

He sat for a long time at the grave of his first wife, his longest marriage.

I stood by, and I remembered that John had experienced countless life and death. He voluntarily rushed to the front line. At first, I thought he was stimulated by the news of the war field, and strongly wanted to play his kindness and role in the midst of heavy artillery fire. , On the battlefield, a doctor can save a regiment of soldiers, and the status of medical soldiers is very important.

Later, I gradually understood that there was another reason for him to go to the battlefield. At that time, he was helpless in the country and had no worries, and he could not feel the meaning and hope of life when he stayed.

His parents died early, his family was not well-off, most of his comrades went to hell, he left alone, and he came back alone, so he valued the bond of family and friendship very much, he valued this very much, his children are dear to him Words must be very precious.

I stood speechless for a long time in front of the tombstone, analyzing Mycroft's words again and again.

221B is not suitable for raising children. If children are really allowed to live in it, I don’t know what the consequences will be. I don’t think that the children will drive me crazy in the end, and then I will throw them on the street, John He will definitely pack up his things and dump me immediately, and then never see me again.

I closed my eyes.

John gently held my hand and led me to the other end of the cemetery, where the second Mrs. Watson, who had just died less than 3 months ago, rested quietly here.

John has taken off his second wedding ring.

He squeezed my fingers in front of the tombstone and said, "Don't worry, Sherlock, I won't leave you, I just live far away, and I can still be as close as I can. I said I wouldn't Married again, it's true, I'm not joking, and I'm not trying to comfort you, what I said is true."

John looked up at me, "Even if I move out, it doesn't mean I will marry someone else, I will not marry again, no matter how beautiful women are, they will not impress me anymore, I have loved many people, they all Leave me, and I'm already tired, you are my final destination."

He and I slowly left the gloomy cemetery, John kept holding my hand, he was very depressed, I really wanted to hug him.

"My first love wasn't you, and you weren't my first love, but Sherlock... When I found out that I fell in love with you, I didn't stop... I can't tell how many years, 7 years , maybe 8 years, I have been in love with you deeply, you must not have imagined that I could not extricate myself from you not long after I moved in, how many fools in the world can put pigeons on their girlfriends for his roommates? At that time my My intuition tells me that you are more important than any of my little girlfriends, but then what happened to us?"

My heart suddenly clenched, "I am accompanied by death, my enemies are as many as stars, if I don't leave you, I will lose you completely."

"You abandoned me like a fool, and I don't blame you now."

"Don't you just treat me like an idiot in 221B as a display?"

"Don't mention it. Several times when I slept in bed, I dreamed that you were lying between me and my wife. I felt that I had been unfaithful to my wife. After you came back, I was a little discouraged. I felt that we could never go back to the past. I didn't Work hard, but you didn't work hard either. I left you alone, but you didn't complain, just let me go like that, hum."

"I thought marriage was your best future."

"You are my future, I figured it out." John smiled bitterly, "I have always refused to admit it, because admitting you is tantamount to admitting my cheating. Silly, they have seen through me long ago, they know my favorite, they always know, but they keep it quiet."

"John, what do you want to say?"

"Trust me, Sherlock, I promise, whether we live together or not, I will never bring another woman home, not once, and the next time someone makes a joke about you being my boyfriend, I will Admit it, I won't refute it anymore, you are my boyfriend, we have an open relationship, as you said, I used to be timid and hypocritical, but I won't anymore, I don't mind the whole world knowing that I am with you You are a couple."

I showed a slightly flattered smile, I was so moved beyond words, I hugged him around on the spot, his short legs flew up in the air, John grabbed my shoulder and shouted for me to put it down he.

"I've decided too."

John tilted his head suspiciously in my arms, his expression was as innocent as when he was young, and he asked me, "What have you decided?"

"I'm going to clean up tonight." I said word by word.