have hidden illness

Chapter 14 If that's the case, he should like Laozi the most

Before stepping into this ambiguously lit bar, Gao Xun just wanted to leave his room on this sleepless, depressed and anxious night, go outside, and have some fresh air.

In the ten years since he knew his sexual orientation, he has never stepped into a circle with the same sexual orientation as him.On the websites he used to troubleshoot himself, he occasionally saw things like talking posts or self-explosive posts in other editions.He guessed that maybe people, in order to avoid loneliness, always need to classify themselves into a certain group.Regardless of which group you think you belong to, it is human nature to seek empathy from your own kind when you are in pain.

But does the same sexual orientation mean that they are the same kind that can understand each other?

Gao Xun thinks this is not necessarily the case.

Due to his dependence on sex, he has to express himself almost once a day before he can fall asleep, but he never thought of going to a place like a gay bar to find a chance.He feels that the risk is higher and unsafe, so it is one thing to keep himself clean. On the other hand, the goodwill induced by hormones is also unbelievable to him.

But this evening, when Gao Xun saw this bar with the name of Querelle? from the Fassbinder movie on it, he suddenly wanted to go in and take a look.

Not necessarily to find someone of the same kind.But at least take a look at what other people in this world who share the same sexuality with him look like at night.

When Kuang Huaiye saw Gao Xun walk into Querelle from across the street, he was amazed at the violent emotion that rushed over him instantly.

He shouldn't be so shocked.

What's so strange about it?Gao Xun likes men, but he doesn't admit it, that dignified look is a sanctimonious one.

He could sneer sarcastically, or just turn around and walk away as if he didn't see him. Anyway, he was already disappointed in this person yesterday when he was on a blind date with a woman in Gao Xun, right?

But he didn't.

Gao Xun tied an invisible thread around his body.This thread has been tied for so many years that even though Gao Xun had simply forgotten about the thread at the time, as long as he pulled it, Kuang Huaiye would involuntarily follow him.

I just went to make sure he knew what Querelle was like.

Kuang Huaiye thought so.

He couldn't help thinking this way, after all, Gao Xun, who was opposite him at the moment, was wearing a black off-the-shoulder sweater, the sleeves that were too long covered his fingers, and the light-colored home pants seemed to be rolled up because they were too long. After a few rounds, the uncombed hair was scattered on the forehead, no matter how you looked at it, it was a defenseless home attire.

Does he really know that Querelle is the gay bar with the most foreigners in the city and the most chaotic atmosphere?

The thought that "maybe he just likes to eat exotic flavors" that flashed in his mind was immediately denied by Kuang Huaiye.

If that's the case, he should like Laozi the most.

Why are there so many foreigners in this bar?

Gao Xun jumped over the crowd who were wearing cool clothes, embracing, twisting and dancing, and squeezed to the only bar with a few vacant seats, and ordered a cocktail with the same strength as the bartender.

He just took a sip of the wine when he sat down, when a very strong, topless foreigner leaned over to strike up a conversation.

"Hi, I haven't seen you before, is this the first time?"

Such a big man like a bear, but speaking mandarin with a weird accent, twisted his hips and swayed beside him meaningfully, sending out good messages. Although Gao Xun didn't show anything on the surface, he felt a little funny in his heart.

"Are you here alone? Do you want to dance with me?" The other party seemed to be really interested in Gao Xun, not caring about his unenthusiastic attitude, and continued to invite, with his furry arms pretending to rub against Gao Xun's fingers inadvertently .

"Come with friends, he's over there."

Gao Xun calmly withdrew his hand from the bar and casually pointed in the direction of the crowd.Even if it was unplanned, and it was the first time he came to this kind of place, he still has a sense of self-preservation. It doesn't matter whether the other party believes it or not. Adults should understand this kind of polite expression of disinterest.

The foreigner didn't bother too much, and raised the beer in his hand to touch Gao Xun's wine glass.

"Well, then I wish you a pleasant stay here tonight, beauty."

Kuang Huaiye came out of Querelle, straddled his motorcycle to block all the suggestive winks flying towards him, lit a cigarette and leaned on the fuel tank to puff.

He was separated from Gao Xun by a pool of people in the store, so he couldn't hear what he was talking to that bear man who looked like a primitive man, but guessing that the conversation had come to something, the two clinked glasses happily.

It seemed that Gao Xun not only knew exactly what this place was, but he might also be a frequent visitor.

Kuang Huaiye smoked the last puff of the remaining cigarette, and when he straightened up and put on his helmet, he couldn't help but looked back again.

Gao Xun was not seen, only the man who clinked glasses with him just now was still there, playing with Gao Xun's cup.

The worry in Kuang Huaiye's mind was suppressed before it took shape.

Don't be naive, Gao Xun knows everything.Otherwise how dare he leave the cup where it is and walk away in such a place.

Kuang Huaiye closed his windshield, and started the engine amidst the neon lights that made him extremely disappointed.

He should really return that thing to Gao Xun, or just throw it away.