have hidden illness

Chapter 6 Why are you still so interesting?

He was wearing a set of baby blue pajamas, lying on his side on a bed with a width of 1.2 meters, and the homework books filled with answers on the desk had been closed.He waited in the dark for a while, and soon someone opened the door of his room and walked in quietly.

Although he closed his eyes, he could clearly feel that the other party was inspecting his room, his table, and his face.

Then there was a faint light, gently and quietly scattered on his closed eyelids.

It was his desk lamp that was turned on and turned to the weakest setting.

The other party opened his drawer, and there was a blank silence after a brief flipping sound.

When he silently counted to six to ten in his heart, the light on his eyelids disappeared.However, he didn't open his eyes immediately in a hurry, but kept this posture as if in ambush.It wasn't until he counted to one thousand that he slowly opened his eyes, re-feeling this room that had just been invaded and became more and more irrelevant to him every night because of the invasion.

He got up and sat down in front of the table, skillfully opened the drawer without making any noise, found the "diary" he had put here on purpose, and turned to today's date.

He is like the shrewdest accountant, reviewing this false account that he has made, his slender fingers scribing every word and every sentence on the dry page, and he knows that this content will take him through ordinary times again, without Satisfied with the ups and downs of the day.

In fact, the fact that he was able to sit in his own chair at this moment, instead of kneeling in the living room and confessing to himself over and over again, is the best proof that he has passed the test safely today.

After closing the drawer, he went back to his bed.

The night that started now really belonged to him.

He could slide his left hand between his legs freely, as a matter of course.

He can be gay without hesitation.

When Gao Xun.

The fingers that were scribing on the paper just now took off the pajama pants deftly, and grasped the long-awaited heat source without any hesitation. With the movement of his wrist, an inaudible low voice overflowed from his tightly closed lips and teeth. Moan.

At the moment when the climax came, he was pushed into the clouds of Ning Xin's harmony by a large amount of pleasure, and all the realities around him were moving away from him, all the filth, boredom, depression, depression... those balls of black emotions are just like this was successfully expelled from his body.

Saved again.

He let out a long breath, immersed in the silence, unwilling to open his eyes, so he fell into a deep sleep like this.

On the day when the first love ended, Gao Xun came home and saw his mother sitting in the living room with a sullen face.

Her eyes stayed on his face for only three seconds, and Gao Xun knew that she must know what happened in school these two days.

"Gao Xun. Come here."

Gao Xun changed his slippers unhurriedly, put down his schoolbag, walked up to his mother, and knelt down with a normal expression.

"Gao Xun, you told me yesterday how your hand was injured?"

The situation is not very good. This is not only knowing, but also knowing very comprehensively.

"Bring your schoolbag here."

Gao Xun did so.

"Open it. Pour out everything inside."

Fortunately, that "evidence" was given to the child at the station just now.

His mother watched his every move.

"Are you still drawing? Where are things?"

"Throw it away. Mom, I did it wrong."

Gao Xun knelt straight, with his hands on his sides, his eyes lowered, so that he could appear obedient and pious to the greatest extent.

"What is your relationship with the boy you drew?"

"It's just classmates who have a good relationship."

"Are you going to be gay, Gao Xun?"

Her voice sharpened.

Gao Xun shook his head.

"Read it."

The letter of guarantee that she pressed under the glass plate, neatly arranged with Gao Xun's once childish handwriting, was thrown at his feet.

"Guarantee, I will never paint again, I won't become gay, I won't make my mother angry, I won't make my mother sad, and I will be a child who will satisfy my mother. The guarantor is Gao Xun."

She didn't say she could stop, so he repeated the content of the guarantee over and over again.

He imagined himself as a piece of bamboo, so that he could continue to kneel here motionless, neither humble nor overbearing, as natural as growing in the soil.

Her oppressive silence blurred Gao Xun's perception of the passing time. He didn't quite know how long the trial lasted, nor could he look up to see if she was satisfied.

"I hope you never forget what you said on the pledge. Get up, I'll transfer you this week."

Gao Xun's feet were a little numb.

"I think transfer..."

"It's not up to you to think about it. I've already entrusted someone. After you transfer to No. [-] Middle School, study hard and spend all your energy on your studies. Don't do anything embarrassing to me again."

She took back the letter of guarantee and pressed it under the glass.

"Ok."

"Let's eat."

Dad used to cook in his family. After they separated, this task naturally fell on his mother's shoulders.

His mother's cooking is not only monotonous, but also unpalatable. Although there are meat and vegetables, the method is basically boiled, no oil and no salt.

She took a chopstick of fish and put it in the Gao Xun bowl: "Don't just eat vegetables."

"Okay." The fish still smelled fishy.

"Do you still keep a diary now? I remember you would write every day when you were a child." She asked a question casually.

Gao Xun understood.

He hadn't kept a diary for a long, long time, but now he had to start again.

"I haven't written for a while, I'm too busy with high school study tasks."

Let him think about how to write the first sentence of his reopened diary.

Is [Mom, I was wrong] better, or [Sorry Mom] is more sincere?Or should he give her peace of mind directly, and prepare the sentence "I'm not gay" in the first line?

No, he couldn't be too aggressive, he couldn't be too impatient, or she would soon find out that his diary was just a homework assignment for her.

Little by little, he would drag himself out of her high-alert danger zone.

Only when he withdrew could she be saved.

When Gao Xun came out of the class teacher's office, he unexpectedly ran into Guan Yao who was waiting not far away, and it was rare that he didn't bring his two tails.

He looked at Gao Xun as if he had something to say.

But no matter what those words were, Gao Xun felt that he would not be interested, so he just went straight down the stairs without looking sideways.

Very coincidentally, in the corridor on the first floor, he saw Kuang Huaigu walking towards him, leading his beautiful girlfriend whom he didn't know when to meet.

"Huai Gu, that must be Gao Xun from Class Four."

After being reminded by her, Kuang Huaigu turned his face away uncomfortably.

"right."

"I heard from people in their class that he came to transfer schools today. Do you think he really likes you?"

"not sure."

"He's pretty good-looking. If you really like you, wouldn't you be a little bit moved?" The girl asked with a smile as she took his arm.

"Don't talk nonsense, is it disgusting? I'm not that perverted homosexual."

These old accounts have passed for too long, Gao Xun casually threw them into a hard-to-find corner of his memory, if he hadn't encountered Kuang Huai Valley again tonight, they would probably stay in the dark place forever until they died.

The fate of life is really unpredictable, how did he know that Kuang Huaigu would come out as his "student's brother"?

When Kuang Huaigu's car caught up with Gao Xun, he was waiting for the green light at the crosswalk on the road in front of Kuang Huaiye's house.

"Xiao Xun, get in the car, I'll take you home." Kuang Huaigu said to him with the window down.

"No, the school is not far from here."

"...Get in the car. I also want to talk to you about Ah Ye by the way."

When Gao Xun heard him mention Kuang Huaiye, he felt a bit of a headache when he recalled the strange experience of going to the police station to lead someone that night. After thinking for a few seconds, he opened the car door and sat in the co-pilot.

They hadn't seen each other for almost ten years, and there was a moment of awkward embarrassment in the car.

Kuang Huaigu quietly glanced at Gao Xun, there was still a sense of distance that could not be ignored on his fair face.Except for the neatly combed bangs that are different from those in high school, there is basically no trace of time left on him.

"You haven't changed much, Xiaoxun." Kuang Huaigu sighed.

Seeing that Gao Xun was silent, he asked cautiously, "Do you have any friends now?"

Gao Xun wanted to laugh.

This tone seems to be asking about the illness, hey, has your homosexuality been cured yet?

He leaned sideways on the car window and said lightly: "I thought you invited me in the car because you really wanted to talk to me about your brother."

Kuang Huaigu looked a bit embarrassed.

"The information says that he changed schools five times in two years."

"Yes, Xinghan is the fifth school he transferred to."

"Why did you transfer to another school? Fight?" Gao Xun recalled the child with a bruised nose and a swollen face that he saw at the police station. The police said that it was a one-to-three fight at that time, which shows Kuang Huaiye's strength.

"...He didn't fight often, but he was late and left early..."

Late and leave early?

To change schools because of being late and leaving early is definitely not the level of being late and leaving early, I'm afraid Kuang Huaigu was being euphemistic.

"Are you absent from work too? How many days have you been absent from work in a row?"

Kuang Huaigu spoke the truth with difficulty: "It's been more than a month."

That is to transfer schools.

Kuang Huaigu thought for a while and added: "Kuang Huaiye's situation is a bit complicated... He and I are half-brothers, and my dad took over after his mother passed away. His mother's death had a great impact on him. After being stimulated, I couldn't speak afterward..."

Half-brother, no wonder.

So when he was in high school, he never heard that Kuang Huaigu had a younger brother.It is estimated that it has not been picked up at that time.

"Kuang Huaiye lives here alone now?"

"Well, when he lived at home before, my mother wasn't very... He was also awkward, so my father let him live outside since he was in high school."

Gao Xun nodded, roughly understanding Kuang Huaiye's situation, at least it was more detailed than the transfer student's information.

"I'll just get off here. Thank you." Gao Xun pointed to a row of school mottos erected at the school gate, Kuang Huaigu stopped the car, and when Gao Xun unbuttoned his seat belt to open the door, Kuang Huaigu grabbed his arm .

Gao Xun broke free.

"Xiao Xun, I'm sorry for what happened at that time. In fact, I went abroad not long after you transferred to another school. I was too young at the time and there were a lot of things about me... After I went abroad, I also met a lot of friends who like the same sex, I know... "

Gao Xun waved his hand to signal him not to speak any more.

To be honest, he didn't think there was anything to blame Kuang Huaigu, and he wasn't very interested in what happened to Kuang Huaigu afterwards.

"You didn't do anything wrong, so don't apologize."

It's already three o'clock in the morning, he doesn't have the superhuman energy and the man who stimulated his hormones in his teens is sitting in the car and talking about his youth, and there are two consecutive classes tomorrow morning, and now he just wants to lie down quickly Go back to bed in the dormitory and end this overly fulfilling day.

"But, I made you gay, if you don't like me then..."

Gao Xun laughed dumbfounded.

How did Kuang Huaigu do it? He is almost 30 years old, and his brain circuit with excess self-awareness is exactly the same as before. He sees that he really hasn't changed much.

"Why are you still so interesting? I really want to go back to sleep. In the future, for Kuang Huaiye, is it faster to contact your father or you?" Gao Xun asked the last meaningful question before getting out of the car.

"My father has been in poor health for the past one or two years, and spent most of the time in the United States with my mother."

"understood."

"Little Xun..."

Gao Xun simply put his unfinished words into the car.